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Dear Therapist (my friends),
um so i just learned most ppl in my family dont die from old age but instead sickness and i know that there is no way in hell im gonna make it to 60. it scares me the thought of death and growing old but im going to have to face both one day or maybe just one if i die young. i was raised into a Christian family who went to church and obeyed the rules but lately ive been quite depressed and my parents are fighting and im just starting to doubt my sanity and religion which is giving me time to think about my life and how im almost always sick i cant remember a time where i haven't had a bad cough or a runny nose and other crap like that. people would call me funny and i enjoyed that knowing i had a talent yet i can never actually believe that i could really make a living off a that or even do it on command, i know that im smart and talented but how can i admit that when i feel so useless, i also know there is no way i can ever say this crap in front of people im too shy so here it is.
i may add more if i need to but for now that is all i want to share i have bigger problems but i dont feel comfortable sharing them unless im already telling you problems than you may never hear the rest and i know that sounds bitchy but really i need something to keep my sanity up
um so i just learned most ppl in my family dont die from old age but instead sickness and i know that there is no way in hell im gonna make it to 60. it scares me the thought of death and growing old but im going to have to face both one day or maybe just one if i die young. i was raised into a Christian family who went to church and obeyed the rules but lately ive been quite depressed and my parents are fighting and im just starting to doubt my sanity and religion which is giving me time to think about my life and how im almost always sick i cant remember a time where i haven't had a bad cough or a runny nose and other crap like that. people would call me funny and i enjoyed that knowing i had a talent yet i can never actually believe that i could really make a living off a that or even do it on command, i know that im smart and talented but how can i admit that when i feel so useless, i also know there is no way i can ever say this crap in front of people im too shy so here it is.
i may add more if i need to but for now that is all i want to share i have bigger problems but i dont feel comfortable sharing them unless im already telling you problems than you may never hear the rest and i know that sounds bitchy but really i need something to keep my sanity up
from your good friend
Lex
Lex
Tired
Ever stayed up so late your eye started twitching. I've been up all night I'm going a little nuts I swear.
I've started seeing things again oops.
Yep.. Well
Two of my best friends r moving away in 3 hrs and I'm not sure how am doing.. I think I'm still in denial since they just left my house like two three minutes ago.
I'm seriously going through so much and I've kept a smile on my face this whole time.
Yep.. Well
I guess this is life.
Sometimes when things seen at they're worst life proves you wrong but other times it proves you right.
Devious Journal Entry
Finals and I'm so gonna fail!! Ugh
Well Whatever!!
Quote of the day
"I want you to be gay." - Brother
"I am gay!" -ME
"No in the game." - Brother
© 2014 - 2024 chillianna
Comments13
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is ganna be all good